Mother Guilt & Who Knew?

Mother Guilt would have to be the worst type of guilt known. We read or learn stuff and then we think "Oh my god Idid/didn't do x". Then we feel like the worst possible person in the world. Or we could forget the fact that it's school mufti day and we have sent our child in school uniform. Then we think "I am the worst mum in the world, if I wasn't so busy....."
And so on and so forth. Once we give birth a whole new world of guilt opens up to us (& we also learn how to use guilt on our children but that's another post). It starts from the moment (or just before we give birth). Did you use drugs? Have a natural, vaginal birth? Are you breastfeeding? Bottle? Does your baby follow a routine? It goes on and on and on. It doesn't help that we judge each other over everything (yes if you put coke in your baby's bottle I am judging you).

This preamble leads into my Mother Guilt that I'm having at the moment. I took the girls to the dentist on Tuesday. I have known for some time that Stella's enamel never formed correctly on her teeth - both her baby molars & her adult front teeth. The dentist told me at the moment there is debate about what causes it - antibiotics or the reason the child needed the antibiotics. Stella was sick alot the first year to two years of her life. So she had antibiotics when they were prescribed. Then Stella was fairly healthy bar some food intolerances. But she didn't really get sick. I was careful with her food and she didn't eat processed foods. Then I got slack. Then Stella started getting sick again, culminating in the mystery virus last year.

So my guilt is large. Knowing what I know now about correct diet when you're pregnant, and what foods to eat/give children, I am naturally blaming myself. And there it is...KNOWING WHAT I KNOW NOW. I didn't know back then.I know NOW. I need to keep telling mysel that because of the Mother Guilt. Certainly if I had this knowledge I would have done things different. I would have changed lots of things. But the thing is Who Knew? I did the best I could with the knowledge that I had at the time. And I think that's all we can do. I have better knowledge now, so of course I'm doing things different. Seriously who wouldn't do some things different?

Who Knew?
 Who knew that eating full fat dairy was better for you?
Who knew that you should soak your nuts and grains?
Who knew you should eat cultured or fermented foods daily?
Who knew that foods claiming that they were healthy are actually bad for you?
There are whole lists of Who Knews? These are the things that once you know you go "Oh my good if only..." See it's the Guilt creeping in again.

Just remember do the best you can with the knowledge you have, but try to gain more knowledge. When you learn new stuff DON'T beat yourself up about it. You did the best you could. And don't judge other parents (unless it's coke in the bottle) We give ourselves enough Guilt. We don't need it from anyone else.

And with Stella's teeth? Well she can have sealant put on the molars. The front teeth she can leave or when she's an adult she can have veneers for cosmetic reasons. With her health? Now she is eating well according to my best knowledge. Her diet may change a little bit as I learn new things, but I have removed all the crap from it and this year she has been a lot healthier.